Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
