No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sorry about my life...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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