That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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