You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
