We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
