I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize