Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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