i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
