Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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