It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
