My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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