it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
