You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
