The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
