oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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