That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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