Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
