I want to have your abortion
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
