But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
