Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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