she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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