What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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