super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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