I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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