some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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