I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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