My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
