she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
