Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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