i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
