she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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