you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
