We named our party play list daddy issues
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
