I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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