so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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