and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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