do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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