Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
