OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
