Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
