Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
