So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
