i would punch a child for taco bell
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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