How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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