Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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