My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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