Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
