Kareoke will never be a sober sport
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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