just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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