Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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