Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
