how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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