I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
