is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
