Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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