people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
