We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize