Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
