i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
