i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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