Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
