highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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