Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
