This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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