I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
