vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize